Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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