The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
