You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
