i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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