Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize