you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
