Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
