i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
