just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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