I hate all girls vehemently.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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