Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
