this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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