I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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