Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize