we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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