Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
