HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hippo gnu deer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
