Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
