wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
