Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Houston, we have a blender
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
