Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
