it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
