so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
