Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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