Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
