i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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