everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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