you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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