ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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