I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
