I bet he comes in French.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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