Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
there's paper in my vomit.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
