..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
