You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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