are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
