well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
