You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
