i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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