i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
