I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
