marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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