you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
