As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
