No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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