Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You can't just leave with hair like that
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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