Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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