No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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