Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
