In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
