umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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