We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
