Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
