you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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