I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
